I recently started a creative writing course. For an activity, we had to come up with random titles. Someone came up with ‘I Would If I Were You’, which I have turned into a poem.

You might not want to eat an apple

In which you found a worm

The thought of eating a plate of dirt

May well make you squirm

Equally disgusting is the thought of eating glue

But all I can say is, “I would if I were you.”

 

Cheating on a big exam

Might not sound so nice

Or telling your friend to give you her money

Is not quite sound advice

Spinning around until you’re sick is

Not so good for you

But all I say is, “Why not? I would if I were you!”

 

Drawing on your brother’s face

While he’s sound asleep

Following a stranger through the streets

Acting like a creep

These are not the best ideas but if you’ve nothing to do

Don’t hesitate, and remember! I would if I were you.

© Sohini Kumar