A Little Bit Lost

Hi. It’s been a while.

I’ve remembered this blog a lot in the last few weeks. More than once, I’ve thought, I need to post again soon. But I haven’t. To be honest, I’ve had the time. Especially since my exams (and my whole degree, in fact) ended in June, I could’ve done a two whole months of blogging by now.

But I didn’t, for a number of reasons. First of all, I felt scared to look at the last post I wrote. With every passing day, it was getting older and older, and I didn’t want to know when I last uploaded (March. Ouch). Secondly, and more importantly, every time I tried to write something, it felt forced.  I couldn’t find a good place to start, and the words felt not quite right, somehow.

And finally, I knew that upon my return, I’d probably have to do the whole “sorry I haven’t written in a while“, teenage-girl-writing-in-her-diary drill again. I wasn’t sure if I had to suffer through that cringe-y routine again, or whether I could just continue without acknowledging my absence. Obviously now you know what I chose.

Truthfully, I haven’t written much in the last few weeks. Not just on this blog; I just haven’t written at all, apart from shopping lists and text messages (and those don’t count, right?). I’m in a bit of a limbo at the moment: I just finished my BA, new things are approaching in September, but until then, I’m just a little bit lost. Don’t get me wrong. I have plenty of things to get done. And if not, there are plenty of movies and TV shows to sit through.

But it still feels like I have nothing to do. Or at least, like I don’t really want to do anything. Time is going by without my noticing, and before I can take stock, another day has finished. I seem to spend my time doing something or other, but by the end of the day, I seem to have done nothing at all.

I normally never treat this blog as a diary, or a space to clear out personal thoughts. But I’m bringing this up because my self-inflicted boredom has been affecting my writing, and pretty much most of the things I do.

So, in true writerly fashion, I’m writing about what is preventing me from writing, hoping that it’ll break my non-posting spell. Maybe the words of my next post will flow from my fingertips now.

What about you? Have you ever been in a writing/life limbo before? How did you deal with it? Let me know.

Until next time.


Photo by Ali Inay on Unsplash

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4 Comments on “A Little Bit Lost

  1. I know how it feels. You don’t feel like writing anymore. The words don’t flow like they used to before and then you get frustrated with yourself and the vicious cycle goes on. It’s a terrible feeling. I’d been going through such a phase. Whenever I’m experiencing a particularly nasty writer’s block, I read several blogs. Sometimes inspiration strikes while I’m commenting on a post. And just like that, the writer’s block will be gone. I can’t exactly point out what triggers it but sometimes all we need is a little break. Then we can return stronger than before. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s a wonderful thought, thank you for sharing! I actually haven’t checked out some of my favourite blogs in a while, I’m adding it to my to-do list.

      Like

  2. I understand this. For me, right now, it’s more a photography drought. Nothing seems to inspire me to pick up my camera. I don’t have any solutions to this — beyond the “writers’ block” advice to free-write something, anything, every day until it become such an ingrained habit the words flow more naturally. Otherwise, just try not to sweat it. Binge-watch TV shows, catch up on old movies or re-read the entire Tales of the City series. Give yourself permission 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Glad someone else can relate. 😌 That’s a lovely comment; I do tend to be harsh with myself, like most people are with themselves. Since forcing it isn’t working, I might try and enjoy the free time I have, like you suggest. I hope your photography block clears soon! Perhaps the photography version of free writing might pave the way to some inspiration? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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